Guest Post – Pros and Cons of having too many friends

This is a guest post brought to you by Olivia from Vacation Pending.  A blog which covers topics of mental health, lifestyle, and travel. Today’s post will be discussing the pros and cons of having too many friends.

Having too many friends is not something that is often contemplated. Society teaches us that in order to be successful we must be popular and have a certain amount of friends. This is instilled into us from an early age. Going through school we strive to be liked and we base our worth on how many friends we have. As we become an adult, we recognise it’s much more about the quality than the quantity of the friendships that we bare.

Before I begin to weigh up the pros and cons having too many friends it’s important to remember that everyone is unique. The number of friends you have does in no way reflect your worth or what you bring to the world. At the end of the day everyone has something of value to bring to a friendship.

Firstly, and perhaps most obviously having too many friends can become too much to keep up with. The time we do have around our existing commitments such as work and family is limited. And therefore, we should consider carefully who and what is worthy of this time. By having a large volume of people to keep up with constantly it can be exhausting. You can feel like you are being pulled in every direction. There simply isn’t enough energy for you to give to everyone equally, which can result in others becoming jealous or resentful of the lack of time you are giving them. This issue can be overcome through determining the frequency and way in which you choose to put time into the friendship. For example, whether you speak on the phone every day, send the odd text back and forth or meet up for a coffee once a month is up to you. Once you have clear boundaries set in place you will be surprised how much clarity this can offer up.

While being in the company of others is great, it’s also crucial to invest in some alone time, allowing for reflection and time to process past events and experiences. Having too many friends could mean you are frequently giving your time away as you are tied up in a multitude of commitments. Being caught up in such a busy lifestyle can limit your ability to get to know yourself and what’s important in your life.

Having a large circle might leave you feeling isolated at times. It can be hard to get attention and so friends are never able to get to know the real you. This means that some relationships can only ever exist at the surface level. If you are not able to form meaningful connections its likely your emotional needs will take a hit. It’s essential to have people you can rely on in times of need.

On the other hand, it may be that you are a social butterfly and thrive in spending time in the presence of various groups of people. You get to be a part of so many people’s journeys and appreciate a whole slew of different perspectives on life. Having diversity in your friendships means that you will always find yourself learning something new which can add to the excitement of every day. By giving yourself access to all kinds of people you can become more confident in who you are and be more aware of the type of people you wish to be acquainted with. Therefore, as you go further through life, the relationships you have can form deeper bonds because you have gained clarity on what you want and expect from the connections with those around you.

Notably, having a lot of friendships can provide valuable networking opportunities. Putting yourself out into the world and taking time to get to know as many people as possible can be highly beneficial. Increasing your contacts and relations will mean you always have someone to go to depending on the situation you are facing. When you want to change your career or need advice for moving home, there will always be a friend you can call to offer a word of wisdom or guide you along the right path.

Personally, I have always had a small number of friends. There have been several times in the past where I have felt as though I should have more. I now focus my energy on maintaining the relationships I do have, but still being open to making new friendships when the opportunities arise. I would love to know in the comments how your circle of friends changed through your life so far and what is your view in having too many friends?

A big thanks to Niraj for letting me be a guest on his blog today. You can find more posts from me here.

You may also like this post on making friends in your 20s.

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12 thoughts on “Guest Post – Pros and Cons of having too many friends

  1. I was taught as a child that true “friends” are hard to find. Never have more than five and let the rest be considered as acquaintances. You’ll know what five to count.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Great post, Olivia!!
    I agree with you – both sides have its pros and cons. I think as adults it is important to find friends who respect your need for me time. I don’t have like a ton of friends, but I do have some friends and I love that they all understand that I have my asocial me times and they let me be. 🙂

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  3. It is not necessary for humans to have friends. Social isolation is detrimental. But there is a huge gap between an individual being “socially isolated” and having “friendships.” You can gain all the benefits associated with social relationships just by having the ability to interact with other people. Great post keep it up

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Thank you for this! I do relate to this post a lot and always have had small numbers of friends and even that can be overwhelming at times. It is important to realize our own personal boundaries when it comes to friends, which is different per person. Thank you for sharing this!

    Liked by 1 person

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