Friendships can be challenging sometimes, and there can be times where you are having a hard time with friendships. I have had times in the past where I have had a difficult time when it came to my own friendships, but I did learn a lot from those experiences. In this blog post I will talk about why you could be having a hard time with friendships, and 3 things that you should remember at times like this.
There could be several reasons why you may be having a hard time with friendships. Firstly, you may be having a lot of friendships drift apart. Normally this is because you and your friends have started a new chapter in your life and go your separate ways. This makes it harder to maintain a friendship as you and your friends get busy with your own lives. You could also be having a hard time with making new friends. This could be due to starting a new chapter of your life, which could include starting a new job or moving to a new city. However, you could also be struggling to make new friends due to other reason.
The below paragraphs talk about 3 things that you should remember if you are having a hard time with friendships:
Not all friends are meant to stay in your life forever
As mentioned in the above paragraph, when you and your friends move to a new chapter of your life and go your separate ways, it is harder to maintain these friendships. A good example of a transition to a new chapter is graduating from university to entering the working world. When friendships drift apart due to everyone going their sperate ways, it is easy to feel down about this. However, one thing that helped me was appreciating the fact that not all friends were meant to be in my life forever. There are a good number of university friends I had that were amazing friends for that stage in my life, but now we have drifted apart as we have become busy in our own lives. Accepting that not all friends are meant to stay in your life forever can help with feeling less down when you are losing and drifting apart from friends.
You need to be ready to take ownership
Sometimes, you may be having a hard time with friendships and it isn’t your fault, or there isn’t much you can’t do about it. However, most of the time there are things you can do about it, and you have to take a level of ownership to make things better. If you are drifting apart from friendships, then it could also be a sign that you are not putting in enough effort on your side to maintain the friendship, and you would need to take ownership in ensuring that you put enough time and energy to the friendship. Moreover, if you are struggling to make new friends, then one reason for that could be because you are not putting yourself out there enough when it comes to meeting new people. In this case, you have to take responsibility when it comes to finding opportunities to making
new friends, and one example could be joining a sports club. Having a hard time with friendships can be a challenge, but like with most other challenges, you have to take responsibility to find ways to overcome the challenge.
Don’t force anything
In the last paragraph, I talked about taking ownership to overcome the challenge of friendships. However, that doesn’t mean you should try and force the issue too much, as that can also backfire. When it comes to friendships drifting apart, sometimes it is best to let the friendship naturally drift, and forcing the issue by trying to reach out to them can be a sign that you are holding on to a friendship that has run its course. When it comes to making new friends, forcing the issue by trying too hard to make friends can come across as being desperate, and you are unlikely to form many meaningful friendships as a result. It is important to appreciate that not everyone will want to be friends or stay friends with you, and forcing the issue only causes more harm than good.
Note that this blog post was originally written as a guest post for Heidi’s blog. You can see this guest post on her blog here.