Part 14: Reflections on unmasking — 4 things I have learnt from the unmasking journey

Since my unmasking journey began 7 months ago, there has been a lot that I have learnt about myself. In particular, there have been some key lessons that have already come out of the journey. In this blog post, I will talk about 4 things I have learnt during this unmasking journey, and how the things I have learnt are relevant to everyone.

It’s important to think about what works for you

Prior to the unmasking journey, I didn’t spend enough time thinking about what works for me and my individual needs. Instead, the things I did and decisions I made were influenced by what was considered societally acceptable and what other people were doing. For example, I went to university straight after school and I joined a graduate scheme straight after university. At no point did I think about whether those decisions were ones that were best for me and my individual needs, and I mainly based these decisions on the fact that everyone was doing it. The unmasking journey has allowed me to have that honest conversation with myself on whether decisions made in the past was based on what works for me as an individual, or whether it was based on what everyone else was doing. Going forward, I want to make certain choices and decisions based on what works for me and my individual needs, even it is different from the norm.

It is important to appreciate that we are all different as individuals when it comes to experiences, personalities, strengths etc. Therefore, it is important to take time to reflect on what works for you as an individual, and then make decisions and choices that align with that. Examples include choices related to work life balance, friendships and routine. Whilst you might not always be able to make decisions and choices that completely align with what works for you as an individual, making them more often will help with wellbeing and happiness.

Simply being resilient for long enough is sometimes the best way to overcome challenges

During the unmasking journey, there has been many challenges I have faced. However, I feel that I have generally dealt well with the challenges that have come my way. Looking back, the main thing that has helped me with the challenges is staying resilient and hanging in there until things become easier. A good example is my current schedule which has been extremely busy for the past 5 weeks and will be busy until the Christmas holidays. Navigating this very busy schedule is difficult. However, it is a challenge that is relevant to my unmasking journey as my schedule includes things that I enjoy and will help me show my authentic self. Therefore, a major thing that will determine the progress I make in my unmasking journey from now until the end of 2023 is how I navigate this busy schedule. My strategy to navigate this busy schedule has mainly been to stay resilient for long enough until things calm down, and it has worked so far.

Some challenges such as delivering a presentation are ones where you can deal with at a defined point of time. However, other challenges such as adjusting to a new job are ones that are over a longer period of time. When it comes to overcoming these sort of challenges, you need to be able to be resilient for a period of time until things become easier, rather than giving up halfway.

People want to see your authentic self

This was something I realised in my trip to Thailand. Whilst I was there, I had the license to show my authentic self to people that I interacted with. This was a positive experience, as it was clear that people found my authentic self more interesting compared to if I had masked. This opened up my eyes to the fact that people value my authentic self and genuinely want to see me be my authentic self. Since then, I have made more of an effort to be my authentic self, and I have seen the benefits when it has come to my wellbeing and relationships with others. Part of this is because people have been supportive of my authentic self, sometimes without them even realising.

When it comes to being your authentic self, things are a two-way street. When I mask, not only do I not benefit from it, but me masking doesn’t benefit the people I interact with. Therefore, when you show your authentic self, it is not only good for you, but it is also good for everyone else. Furthermore, your authentic self is usually the version of you that people find interesting, and is hence the one people want you to show.

Facing adversity is a great opportunity to learn and develop.

Ultimately, my unmasking journey is an example of me facing adversity. This is because I have had to accept uncomfortable truths, face curveballs and be significantly out of my comfort zone. However, facing adversity has forced me to think about ways on how to unmask and show my authentic self. This has enabled me to learn lots about myself, which has been invaluable for me. Therefore, I have in a strange way enjoyed facing adversity with the unmasking journey, as it has given me a fantastic opportunity to develop. Prior to my unmasking journey, I was too comfortable in various aspects of my life, which looking back didn’t help me at all.

Adversity is difficult, but sometimes the biggest adversities turn out to be the most rewarding periods of your life. This is because you learn and grow so much from facing adversity and coming out on the other side. If you don’t face any adversities and challenges, then things become too comfortable and there is a risk of simply coasting through. Therefore, sometimes you need aversity to get you out of your comfort zone and think about doing things in a different way.